in primul rand sunt foarte optimista pentru ca mie-mi plac mult de tot numerele pare.

revelionul asta m-a prins intr-un apartament in care nu mai fusesem niciodata, printre necunoscuti din diverse tari, cu prieteni pe care abia mi i-am facut.

m-am gandit foaaarte mult la niste rezolutii, imi plac rezolutiile, dar nu-mi vine niciuna suficient de buna. imi doresc foarte mult ca tot restul anului (si tot restul vietii if possible) sa ma simt la fel de indragostita ca in aceasta fermecata luna decembrie. m-am gandit foarte mult la chestia asta in ultimele zile dupa ce am citit “big magic”-ul lui elizabeth gilbert. povesteste la un moment dat cum, la 16 ani, a facut un juramant scrisului, sau ceva in genul asta. a promis ca se va dedica scrisului, adica acelui lucru care ii aducea cea mai deplina fericire.

“When I was about 16 years old, I took vows to become a writer. […] My vows were strangely specific and, I would still argue, pretty realistic. I didn’t make a promise that I would be a successful writer, because I sensed that success was not under my control. Nor did I promise that I would be a great writer, because I didn’t know if I could be great. Nor did I give myself any time limits for the work – like, if I’m not published by the time I’m 30, I’ll give up on this dream and go find another line of work. In fact, I didn’t put any conditions and restrictions on my path at all. My deadline was never. Instead, I simply vowed to the Universe that I would write forever, regardless of the result. I promised that I would try to be brave about it, and grateful, and as uncomplaining as I could possibly be. I also promised that I would never ask writing to take care of me financially, but that I would always take care of it, meaning that I would always support us both, by any means necessary. I did not ask for any extra rewards for my devotion, I just wanted to spend my life as near to writing as possible, forever close to that source for all my curiosity and contentment. And so I was willing to make whatever arrangements needed to be made, in order to get by.”

m-am gandit foarte mult la fragmentul asta si la aceasta devotiune completa si fara cerinte pe care o practica ea fata de lucrul care o face cel mai fericita. si cred ca intr-un fel sunt si eu cumva la jumatatea drumului acolo.

poate ca rezolutia mea ar fi sa cer mai putin, si mai putin de la lucrurile care imi dau fericire. si sa le caut mai mult.